 I have an incredible fascination for other people’s stories. I want to know what the stories are, who the person “is”, and what makes that person “tick.” I have a sincere and burning desire to understand how and why people do the things they do… and I look for reasons in the unreasonable.
As a part of that, I enjoy a good tale as much as the next person. My upbringing involved a rural general store that had a proverbial “pickle barrel” for anyone to pull up and ‘have a sit.’ I fondly recall being a tot and listening to some of the older folk relate in weathered voices, their incredible stories. As an adult, I have often let people ramble on in their talk when I knew what they were saying was untrue (to be kind). What a person says (even in a lie) tells you an enormous amount about that person; it can be incredibly revealing, and on occasion entertaining. When I first got on the internet (years and years ago), people were telling the same stories that you can hear now both on-line and in real life. These stories seem to begin (in essence): “I am Old Guard“; “I was born and raised a slave and that is all I know.”; “My parents were in leather and I was raised in the tradition.”; and “I have a secret…” The last one is my favorite. It invites the listener into a world that is a potential fantasy unlike any other he has experienced. Of course all of the lies told are much the same as the ones you have heard before, but there is always the opportunity that someone will add a new twist. That makes my day. One of the interests I have is exploring these tales and the people who tell them in order to find the “tick”. Why tell them? The why’s of what they do is vast in scope. I could not possibly relate all the motivations in any paper for publication, but the “How’s”… that is something sociologists and psychologists are able to grasp. How do the tellers continue to impress them upon us after being exposed as the frauds they are? How does someone become so damned skilled at telling a lie of the magnitudes and lengths as with some of the ones I encounter? Understanding these “How’s” will allow us (the listeners of these myths) to understand how we can be manipulated so (relatively) easily and to assist us in recognizing when it is happening. What follows is a part of the research into this area. Many of the names are not changed, as these people tell their stories in the public venue for who ever cares to hear. So… set back and read a spell. I hope you enjoy it. Elemental Stories We brought them with us from over the seas, incorporated them into our beginnings and evolved them into our personal culture’s own. Tall tales are as American as ‘apple pie’ and as worldwide as venereal disease. They are the quintessential essence of how we perceive ourselves and are paramount in the education of our children in the cultural mores, lessons of manners, and the morality of our lives. From Grimm’s fairy tales to Aesop’s Fables, children are exposed to the magic and mystery of these ‘oft told tales’. Authors who are more contemporary to our times have taken most of those fables and made them into something that a modern reader/watcher can appreciate by changing the central characters and themes into something that is more attune to the age in which we live. From Washington Irving to Jacqueline Susann to Jim Henson’s (Disney’s!?) Sesame Street, we have taken these tales, and developed them into something that the modern reader/watcher can truly appreciate. Japanese anime has made the international scene in the last decade. They and other Asian cartoons allowed us a glimpse into the magic that Eastern myths bring to the inter-cultural telling of today’s cartoon experience. Stories have truly become the imparting of a diverse library in literary art works and are now (sincerely) international in scope. The ancient tales and myths are told with modern or futuristic backgrounds losing little of their character or flavor in the process. How does this affect us? Are we influenced through this process?Of course we are. We elevate people in the news and in our lives through the personal impact that the deep-seeded psychology of these stories has on us at a very profound and personal level. Using these myths as a backdrop, we place the most common and most famous peoples’ lives and ‘adventures’ into these mythic realms; mentally attributing various “Hero” qualities to our actors, sports players and celebrities, bringing them into proportions well beyond their actual ken. We use our natural empathy for the ‘underdogs” and idolize them as though they were something akin to demigods. These modern “heroes tales” are the same ones that have been being played out from time immemorial. Modern media rehashes these stories with current anecdotes and idioms in such a way that our favorite fables are replayed constantly with an interlacing of television’s incessant panoramic current events. • We watched with rapt attention while Othello was retold through the O J Simpson trial’s play on Court TV; • For some of us, the war in Iraq brought a retelling of the Titan’s fight to vanquish ‘forces of the underworld’; • The recent Lord of the Rings combines many of our favorite fables and legends into one vast story telling experience – and excited box office tallies to an all time high that insists on Oscar nominations; • And let’s not forget the incomparable (and yet familiar) underdog Harry Potter’s ascension to powerful wizard status through the books and movies he is presented in. Who among the people reading this does not take secret glee at the success of the common man in life? Who does not love to read the newspaper or see on CNN the story of a modern day Cinderella (against whom the ‘fates’ seemingly conspire) succeed against all odds to have an “and they lived happily ever after” ending? “No one ever does live happily ever after, but we leave the children to find that out for themselves, don’t we?” ~King 1 Like many people, a submissive I own is often heard complaining when a current film release ends without a solid “feel good”. The classic tales are the ones we enjoy hearing and seeing the most. They give us a sense of “justice” in our otherwise average lives, and the impression that the ‘Fates’ are here to please us, no matter how life might actually be. Joseph Campbell2 observed this ‘evolution of human stories’ and made considerable insight into the history of a world-view of myths back in the 1940’s. Through his studies, he brought classical works in direct comparison to the burgeoning science of psychology in order to compare and contrast them. His discoveries and insights in this pursuit are truly a work of unique and insightful scholarship. They denote the many similarities that myths have (and have had) through the eons, one to the other; and noting that they are continually changing to match the cultures of the times and the lands that they are re-told in. Now in the later part of the twentieth century, we have within the ‘leather sub-culture’ of western society our own developing myths. These fictions have taken on a life of their own as they are iterated and repeated by people who are simply retelling the stories they are given. These stories are being emblazoned upon our consciousness constantly through the very people we generally look to for accurate and instructive information about who we are and where we come from. Whether the source is considered prudent and valid, or if they are considered to be “pop-culture” and specious, we have many and diverse sources that tell us tales as fact, and we generally accept them carte blanche and prima facie.Authors/Web hosts as diverse and influential as Jon Jacobs’ “Submissive Women Speak”3 and ‘Lord Colm’ “Castle Realm”4 have had significant and substantial impact in the spreading of fables as fact either through their allegations of what is “accurate” (in the case of Mr. Jacobs) or through the authoritatively written and generally accepted articles that appear on their web sites (for both). Many people in leather today were “brought up” in the cyber communities where people such as these were touted as the “end all” fount of knowledge. Their writings and sites have been recommended and read by thousands in the pursuit of an inkling of “who they are”. The cyber generation is willing to suspend disbelief because these people and web places are often said to represent “The Truth”. If stated often enough by the myriad people they encounter, then the listener will tend to believe this as fact. The influence of repetition and the ‘magic’ at the root of these stories is represented by what they are told and that is pretty important in any influential exchange where one party (knowingly or otherwise) is misinforming another. Otherwise rational and responsible people want and desire these modern-day “Sheherezades” to tell them their ‘1001 Leather Tales’. The most egregious of the Tall-Tale-Tellers are the ones who set themselves up as the “hero” of the story they weave. They are generally those who appear in an area (on the web or in the community real life) and are reinvented and revealed. They may appear humble and understated (“Oh, please don’t call me ‘Grand Mistress’. That was bestowed upon me by my former community; you can call me Magik.”), but they portend to have something “important” to relate to those who would listen. That ‘something’ appears to be a secret that the listener desires to hear. The reasons why someone tells such a story as a ‘truth’ is as varied as why we are willing to set aside our common sense to believe these tales – at least at some level of our subconscious. The best way to understand our shortcomings in this area is to understand these stories, the impact and means of their delivery, and their effect on us. Anatomy of the Hero Mythologies Mr. Campbell used his life’s work to critically analyze mythologies as seen through an anthropologist’s eyes. His study encompassed all times and most cultures that do and did exist as related to us through the written word. He looked into the make-up of these myths, their antecedents and predecessors, the key elements that made them memorable and caused them to be passed down during the periods when oral traditions were prevalent, and those that created a need to have them written when the technology became available. He showed a direct correlation between the cultures and their stories across time and distance; allowing us to marvel at the commonality that were presented and they allowed despite these disparities. From the ancient Babylonians, the Mayans, the Australian aboriginals and the American Indians, to current renditions as seen in cartoon and on the radio soap operas of his time, these templates are evident and prevalent in their uses and influences. He looked at all myths without religious consideration, and sought and found commonalities among the rhythm and timbre of all the settings and peoples that inhabit them so completely. The net result of this life’s research? All cultures have the same basic sets of myths. This is not (however) as amazing as the rapidity with which these myths spread in the ancient world and into the hearts of people more diverse than the minds of the time were able to comprehend. All civilizations and peoples that one of these good stories “ran into” were ready and willing to adapt and embrace them as ‘their own’, and they spread through the general populace with an alacrity that is really astonishing. Broadcast through the oral traditions of the times, they found new roots and new beginnings with new names and faces on the heroes and heroines in all cultures they encountered. This indicates a centralized psychological enchantment for certain elements of these narratives that are (and can be described as) ‘universal’ in appeal to the individual members of the human race…an interesting concept. Prior to this, I would have denied anyone’s ability to make such a claim, but the preponderance of the evidence allowed through the studies he presented (and he had his critics who have unsuccessfully tried to defame his work) makes this an interestingly solid statement.What are the elements that make these tales viably believable for so many? What makes the heroes of folk tales live in the modern day legends for the people who hear them and read them? Campbell relates to us the trials that a hero must go through in order that he can be considered noteworthy and memorable: 1.) Birth – Two variations become classically evident – either a dramatic and prophetic birthing that is foretold or spectacular in circumstance, or that of the ‘common man. As most of us are of ‘the common stock’ (heraldic angels did not portend our arrival on this “mortal coil”), this is an easily attainable goal for a potential self-proclaimed “hero” of leather. 2.) Destiny – Some element in childhood that might recognize the future hero’s “destiny”. At times this was illuminated through a vague or explicit representation of the “Destinies” that determined the hero’s fate from very early on. In today’s myth-makers, one sees their own ‘precognition’ (of sorts) through prepubescent role play. They generally will allege that they had significant experiences in some minor B&D or S&M activity that lead them to where they are today. Often that is the basis for their “lifestyle foundation”…. allowing (?) them to age their experience from this event forward. Although, some of the more entertaining stories claim some form of hierarchy within their familial unit that imparted this knowledge to them; I cannot count the times I have heard someone claim ‘ancestral rights’ to their “lineage”, or that they were a dominant/submissive since (sic) birth.5 3.) The Quest – generally this is some adventure of mythic proportion in which the hero is sent to overcome. Although we have nobody who flies a ‘tarn’ and slays dragons in today’s society, we do have those who allege to have attended secret schools and ancient houses to learn the secrets contained therein. Interestingly enough, (and exceptionally key to the roots of most of these modern and ancient myths and stories) Mr. Campbell compares these quests and the trials that besiege the hero to be “allusions to education and special knowledge”. In this, the parallel is the most striking. The quests of these modern false “heroes” of leather are commonly those of knowledge. They generally will claim some archaic and arcane knowledge that has been “passed down for generations”. This might be found in the claims of “The House of the Rising Phoenix” -Atlanta, GA/somewhere in Europe(6), “The International Iron Rose Society”, GA/Austria,6 “The House of Horizon” -Marietta, GA/Germany6 , and were previously used by “The House of the Silver Cross” [formerly]- California/France.6,7 In each of these instances, member(s) claim(ed) to have cabalistic knowledge that is obtained after secret trials of ability and knowledge were passed. Their abilities were conveniently found to be passable for the level they strove to meet (interesting that we never meet the “rejects” from this course of study). They describe secret rites of passage that were (in themselves) educations into some of the “mysteries” of leather that (we) mere mortals were not privy to. 4.) The Return – Like Hercules returning home, these post-modern ‘heroes of leather’ come back to us from their distant quest(s) refreshed within the learning that they have assayed and ‘perilously divined’ and survived the (strict?) trials of passage to gain this boon for the rest of us in the Americas. They have ‘discovered the foundation of knowledge’ from which they will allow our ‘heritage’ (in BDSM) to have been born and originated from. Of course, simply spouting a story of this nature does not mean anyone is going to believe it. It is all in the telling – “A gossip goes about telling secrets, but one who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a confidence.”8 The Secret The trials and tribulations, agonies and ecstatics of those select members who ‘obtained this knowledge’ is always a great part in the telling. At times the story is enhanced by coupling it with a threat of excommunication from the vested group, to friends, family, pets, and even (especially?), death… but, always it is with a (the) secret(s) which none may tell regardless of the penalties alleged to have been threatened. Deep secrets of the arcane and ancient that brings the listener closer. This lends that additional twist of danger to the proceedings that make the story extra special. Couple this with ‘ancient knowledge’ that they ‘bring back’ with them allows the listener a feeling of an inclusive conspiracy into a story that should “not have been told”. Forbidden fruits are often the sweetest. Haven’t we heard this fable before? It is that intense feeling of thrilling ‘insider information’ that allows the reader/listener to feel included and trusted. It draws the listener deeper into the intimacy of something that bespeaks of danger and adventure, as well as imparts upon them a sense that the teller ‘trusts them’ enough to allow this part of their lives to be told, without fear that there is a danger in the telling. This has always been a very effective means of culling the ‘mark’ in confidence games and scams; and has been used by story tellers from ancient times to allow the listener to “buy in” to the story being told. Where does one gather an experiential basis for such without simply “pissing off” all the people in the local ‘leather-rubber-jeans and PVC’ community? Why, on line of course, where no one can hear you scream. “Identity plays a key role in virtual communities. In communication, which is the primary activity, knowing the identity of those with whom you communicate is essential for understanding and evaluating an interaction. Yet in the disembodied world of the virtual community identity is also ambiguous” ~ Donath9 The internet has brought us the ability to communicate as no other medium before. It allows us to convey messages in such a way that many people mistakenly feel that they truly know someone after a few relative hours of “talking”. Unfortunately it also allows people who are less honest than “us” to take extreme advantage of others. People portray themselves (to their ‘self’ and to others) in two distinct ways. It has been theorized that the notion of identity is a series of performances. This deportment is frequently seen in actors who are playing behind a camera or on a stage (i.e.: Warren Beatty and his string of marriages to romantic leading ladies of his films), presidents who are playing behind a camera, at a podium, or in the china room (i.e.: “I never had sexual relations with that woman! (pound fist in rhythm to words being stated”), artists with world renown, and others who are in the business of “make believe”. Ancillary to this, the person who is “listening” (reading what is being said to them) on line is often under a spell of relevant misconception. Personal and introversive means of differentiating and discerning the motivations and ethics of other people is equally indistinguishable. Minor clues and unconscious observations of people talking to us (eye movement, gestures, odors, twitches, etc) that are normally utilized to clue a ‘listener’ into the meaning and veracity of other people are not available to people on the internet. Assumption is a key component to what we comprehend when reading another person’s typed tale. We misjudge this situation in numerous ways. A person may not actively be paying attention to what we are writing to them. A person might actually be laughing as another pours out their life’s woe to them, but, we would never see it because there is no indication available from behind the ‘buttoned boob box’ while on the world wide web. So, we assume that they are behaving and if we trust them, that they are “nice.” The nonverbal clues and nuances of an active physical presence are missing in cyber communication. The natural result is that the impression of ‘what is said’ and ‘what is meant’ is no-where near as keen as it should be. Atop of all of this, the listener has to overcome the “niceties” of the evolving culture on- line. Those that utilize chat rooms and bulletin board systems have developed cultures where critical thinking appears to be frowned upon. Asking probing or discerning (or even stupid) questions, or holding an opinion, which is not common on-line/within that cultural ‘clique’ is considered poor manners. Differing opinions are sometimes considered to be an indication that the person asking is not showing the “regard” that is considered to be ‘inherently deserved’ by the person posting/expressing the original statement. At times it is because the originating author is a “senior” member of the group, other times it may be because the question asked appears to be “rude” regardless of how it is phrased, and still others because the primary writer may be an author of note outside the bounds of the ‘cyber village’ (Gloria Brame, Jack Rinella, Mistress Steele, Guy Baldwin, etc.) and is deemed sacrosanct and immune to such. Not that any of these people do or would discourage differing opinions (I have never seen any of them do so), but members of various groups in which their writing is discussed seem to think that it is a “sin” to question their opinions. Practice Makes Perfect – “The vain man does not wish so much to be prominent as to feel himself prominent; he therefore disdains none of the expedients for self-deception and self-outwitting. It is not the opinion of others that he sets his heart on, but his opinion of their opinion.” ~ Nietzsche11 The folks who profess to be what they are not and have ‘had a heroic mythological experience’, generally can spin one hell of a tale. I was giving a seminar and gawked in amazement as a bondage artist stated that he had been privy to the rites in a ‘historically ancient house’ that had slaves and rituals dating back centuries. Bill claimed to have stumbled onto a trunk of information revealing a relative’s ‘passions’. When confronted, the relative told him that this organization was a way of life, and later admitted him into the presence of others during discussions of some of the more intimate details of the “clan”. He later left the country in which this occurred. As he departed, he was told never to tell anyone about his experiences under penalty of death. Of course, he could not prove any of it… and the obligatory death threat stopped him from giving the details the audience and I were clamoring to know. The fact that he made these statements in public and with obvious faults in logic (i.e.: ‘They will kill me if I ever speak of this’ – ‘I am telling you this in a public gathering, but I may not delve into the details any more than I have’) and a straight face indicated the depth to which he was invested in this fantasy world of his creation. I have also had my life and health threatened through the exposure of such tales. When a friend desired to go to be “trained” with the alleged ‘House of Horizon’, I talked her out of it. The barely decipherable diatribe I received from one of the “Owners” (Ms. ‘Samantha’) lets you know exactly the sort of schism with reality that might result: “YOU THINK WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE YOU ARE. YOU THINK WE CANT FIND YOU. ON THE WEB.YOU BEST THINK AGAIN FOR IT ISNT US THST IS FAKE. YOU HAVE TAKEN SOMEONE WHO WAS ON THE RIGHT PATH TO THE REAL LIFE AND RUINED ALL HOPES…. …SO SAD YOU HAVE NO CLUE TO TRAINING. COME TO HOUSE ONE NIGHT GET BACK ON TRAIN… …COME ON… …WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE FOOLING.”12 This woman has obviously vested significant mental capital in the ‘reality’ that she has presented to the world (both on the net and in ‘real life’) and was distraught that this was shaken through the “awakening” of a potential acolyte. Again, with this alleged European house, there is also that troubling paradigm of the “telling the public/it is a secret” schism in logic. To say that a cabalistic ancient house might be recruiting in such an overtly public way… and yet (then) state that their house has been secreted away from the world for centuries is (a tad) insane. Although I do admit a certain morbid fascination with “screwing” with the irrationality of such people, their ability to deceive themselves so completely borders on characterizations from a Stephen King novel. I sometimes believe I should be smelling oranges or looking for red rum. ‘Samantha’ is a mere amateur at the art of story telling in comparison to some who I have run into. “The artist must know the manner whereby to convince others of the truthfulness of his lies.” People who fabricate such stories have obviously tried it on many others, have adjusted it to the audience’s liking, and are very adept at the telling. They realize the points to emphasize and those that have to be avoided. If practice makes perfect, the best of these must have a lot of it. Psychological Darwinism offers to detail this phenomenon for us. The animal kingdom is full of creatures that lie about who and what they are. The king snake is often confused with the poisonous coral snake due to a similarity in colored banding. The insect world has creatures that imitate everything from looks to smells, movement to colors, and from habitats to hidey-holes. The chameleon is the most commonly thought of when we refer to “liars” of the small animal kingdom, and man holds the title for the large.14 People lie. That is a simple fact. Why they lie is often times for ‘all the usual suspect’-ed things: Sex and sexual gratification, advantage and ego, promotion and self-promotion. Successful fibbing is not all that easy, however. People are discerning. People notice clues in deceitful behavior. People know. As we discussed, the internet provides one heck of a practice place without the physical clues associated with direct interaction. Practice is required if you are to take the” show on the road”. If at first you do not succeed, change your name and try it again. More importantly, the most accomplished liars believe their own falsehoods. Minor distortions are built upon until a “truth” with some heft might be approached with some conviction. If you lie and tell people you are 35 years old with 13 years experience in leather, why not try ‘35 years old and 20 years experience’ the next time? These may initially be conscious, but with repetition they start to become a natural part of a person’s memory and “real” to that person. One reason that polygraph (lie-detector) results may not be admitted into court as evidence, is that investigators have found and noted that it may be defeated if the subject is practiced and convinced that the thing being talked and lied about is “real”. “Cognitive psychologists have shown how the details of a story, even if false, embed themselves in the memory with repetition” A person can immerse his ego in self-deceptive behavioral patterns that would allow him to actually believe in what he is saying, no matter how false. He not only behaves as though it were true, he actually, with repetition and time, will believe it is true. This is an oddly common phenomenon. The same event explains one reason why people can be such capable and effective liars. They can divest themselves of the duality involved in the formation of self/public image and convince themselves of the “reality” of their positions. It appears to be a unique situation found only among humans and specifically, in talented mimics of the common morality and self-consciousness. In a situation of this nature, any potential or realized consequences of his deceit are non-existent and do not matter, because (in his mind) there are none. How can there be consequences for a person who believes his own lies, when his lie is the absolute truth in his own mind? Based on this presumption, many of the folks who do this sort of thing will read this article and be convinced that it is not about them. “You’re so vain… What about the people who believe? “Mere flim-flam stories, and nothing but shams and lies.” A year or so ago, while in conversation with Lord Cobra (former “hereditary owner” of the House of the Silver Cross – Mason Croix de’ Argent ), several of us got him to (finally) admit that all the hyperbole about the house (how old and ancient it was, along with the alleged ‘slave training’ history of the house) was false. A member of the organization (who is a friend and was present) was asked how he felt after Lord Cobra admitted his duplicity. He stated (quite succinctly) that he had been aware that ‘something’ was not correct, and suspected this result at some level. However, he was not a member for the “history” being provided. He had joined and would remain a member (he is to this day) because of the good that the organization does. Sebastian had his eyes wide open and his heart in a great place relative to personal ego and investment in the community. Not many people that we meet in life are that centered. Most would have been devastated by the betrayal of their trust in such an insidious way. This ‘house’ continues it’s educational work within the national leather community under new management out of Alabama. They have dropped all assertions relative to their alleged history and their reputation is improved and spreading through the work of members like Seb. The Submissive Paradox: Several times over the course of watching folks spin their tales, I have also noted a singularly interesting aspect of this whole affair: The need to justify what is said to a specific individual. Most often that is the submissive in a relationship who is the ‘vessel of the holy secret’ for some dominant’s narrative. Scenario: “Dominant” meets someone on line or in real life. They weave a yarn of mystery and fascinating revere to the submissive. The discussions blossom into a full-blown relationship. The stories may be dropped, but the submissive (unaware of the deceit) continues discussions about them. The submissive desires that this be spread as ‘important and relevant information’, which is not well known and ‘should be’. They are proud of their dominant and his association to these arcane rituals and organizations. Needless to say, the dominant is in a difficult position. Does he continue to tell more people at the submissive’s insistence, or does he inform her that it is a secret… that he told her in confidence and it should go no further? More than a few times, I have been approached with (or read of) a submissive’s tale of their master’s association in such mythical organizations, and I have been approached by dominants asking if they might speak to me about a ‘little-known, but fascinating aspect of our history’. Once in a while, the means of delivering the story is so contrived as to make the entire telling appear as a grand setup to assure the reader believes the tale. The International Iron Rose Society was brought to my attention in this manner. In a Yahoo group an unknown person posted asking if there were resources available for the ‘abused submissive’. Several people (along with myself) responded, telling her to get her ‘friend’ to the police, find a woman’s shelter (as she mentioned she did not have family available) and to simply “get out”. Then a new post was made by a gentleman. He stated that there WAS such a place (in fact an organization) for the abused submissives of the world to seek succor and assistance. He called it the ‘International Iron Rose Society’. Allegedly founded in Austria in the 1920’s, it had provided this boon to the BDSM peoples since that time. Since the organization was “run by submissives” of course his knowledge of it was rather incomplete as he was not a submissive. And anyone desiring the shelter of this organization could join a Yahoo group (that was conveniently JUST established) in order to apply. He also noted that dominants would not be accepted. Needless to say, it was that damned logic thing that tripped me up and stopped me from believing in this. So I requested legitimate information by several people about the background, funding and affiliations. It was summarily ignored.. Further postings by this man and submissives associated with him were less than kind in their assessment of those who would ‘dare question’ such an organization (various allegations such as not caring for people and the children ‘who are abused’ were levied in attempts to stifle questions. Always talk about insensitivity toward cruelty to children and helpless women in order to make someone feel ashamed and ‘shut-up. Unfortunately, I am an insensitive bastard). The questions were never answered or directly acknowledged leading to unverified speculation that the entire thing was and is farcical. Post Script: The seeds for our own myths are most often planted through things innocuous and placed in such an unremarkable way as to not be overt in their appearance. Many times it will be a third hand revelation or exposé about a meeting or a happening into which small issues are dropped; or it will be an entire article about a meeting in which the entire subject is revealed. People who are popular or more eminent in the ‘life’ are not immune to this deceit and to being fooled.18 They have and do lend support to the insupportable through their own willingness to believe in the shared stories that creep out of our myths and allowing the rest of us a means of false verification (through their acceptance and/or silence). It is the inconsistency and verve of our endless discussions that lends to the potential assurance that these myths present. Our railing against the “Old Guard” and our subsequent ‘hailing’ of them as the forefathers of ‘who we are’ and ‘what we do’ has assisted in the split, as have the issues involved in the definitions of who and what we are. The debates we have about the “correct means of doing things” generally end with people confused and seeking a more solid answer than can possibly be provided. The internet, a vast and acknowledged resource for information has lent us these myths in place of facts where key and central gaps appear to be placed between what is known and what is alleged. “People have come to expect specifics from the internet; not the vagaries inherent with life. When the facts fails them, they tend to look towards the stories to fill the void.” This allows for an opening for the advent of such tall tales presented to the unwary as ‘potentially plausible’. After all, where there are no solid solutions forthcoming, there is a void that ‘has’ to be filled. With people available who have practiced their stories (for years?) and believe them, that opening has something to fulfill it. That is also answered through the teller’s behavior, the need to feel special and revered…. and at times, omnipotent in their cynical minds. I have generally found that the folks in leather are rather intelligent and articulate. Instances such as those detailed and assayed in this article allow us to understand that we are simply human in our ability to comprehend when the “wool is being pulled over our eyes”. This is a human failing, and like all the foibles that are involved in humanity, they are imperfections that are tolerable in the short term. Increasing our understanding of the folks who sit at the ‘pickle barrel’ and weave their tales, is key to treating them as they are: Stories we have heard before… and nothing more. The overt incorporation of myth into our culture should come as no surprise to anyone reading these words. We are a culture inundated in and regurgitating our myths in a constant stream of articles, books, and made for TV movies. Needless to say, if one is exposed to something as entertaining and engaging as tales and legends (as most of us are) from an early period, we tend to desire (in some small way) to emulate them in whatever manner we might. Emulation of a story is not living it. Knowing and recognizing how someone may manipulate us through stories is a very important aspect to be concerned with through any endeavor in life. This paper does not contain answers to “how to recognize” people who are deceiving you on line or in real life; but, it does provide an oversight and a few tools into understanding how people might attempt such shenanigans. Let’s face it: stories are stories. They are not the truth, or an answer. The ‘brotherhood of leather’ should not allow myths to be portrayed in that way. “I believe in the brotherhood of man, all men, but I don’t believe in brotherhood with anybody who doesn’t want brotherhood with me. I believe in treating people right, but I’m not going to waste my time trying to treat somebody right who doesn’t know how to return the treatment.” References 1) "Wolves of the Calla", Stephen King, Simon and Schuster, 2003 2) "The Hero With a Thousand Faces”, Joseph Campbell, Bollington Foundation, 1949 3) The "Submissive Women Speak" web site has been taken down since writing this article, but friends allege that it shall return. 4) http://www.castlerealm.com/library/formality.shtml5) "http://www.angelfire.com/fl4/thecastle/resume.html" [writer’s note: this (DEAD) link used to lead to a person who was very serious about their story of an ascendancy which rivals any I have been privy to.] 6) Signifies the area it’s located at in the United States and the country the special member(s) allege to have trained in 7) Most recently this group has been revised to remove this false reference by the folks who have come into possession of the organization 8) "The Holy Bible" Hebrew, Proverbs 11:13 9) "Identity and Deception in the Virtual Community", Judith S. Donath, MIT Media Lab, Communities in Cyberspace 10) "The Presentation of the Self in Everyday Life", Goffman, Doubleday, Garden City, NY, 1959 11) "The Complete Works of Friedrich Nietzsche", Oscar Levy, Random House, New York, 1964 12) Personal correspondence with the author, dated 4Oct2002 13) "Picasso: Fifty Years of His Art", Alfred H Barr, Jr.; 1946 14) "Social Evolution", Robert Trivers, Benjamin/Cummings, Menlo Park California, 1985 15) "The Moral Animal - The New Science of Evolutionary Psychology", Robert Wright, Vintage Books, Toronto Ontario, 1995 16) "You’re so Vain"; Carly Simon, Album: ‘No Secrets’; 1972 17) "Don Quixote", Miguel De Cervantes; 1605 18) European House Essay by Mr. Ramilia - in this instance, Mr. Ramilia has passed away and no further information is available about this meeting despite contact with remaining members of the Phoenix Society of Baltimore. |
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