The Shame

The general case of “secrecy blight” I have run into takes several progressive steps.

     1. They are assertive and allege one or several fallacies (depending I assume on the length of time they have been developing the story).
     2. They retract a portion of the statements made (sometimes through intermediaries); they tend to state ‘misunderstanding’ between you and they, or between you and the acolyte as a cause for this issue. They may even apologize.
     3. They become aggressive again, denying that you have any right or knowledge to question their authority, knowledge, experience and/or training.
     4. They become quiet, interspersed with denial of understanding (you apparently did not read what I wrote, heard what I said, misconstrued the intent, etc.). You are told (at this point) that you are insane, you are vindictive, you are ‘out to get them’ personally, or you are denying them their right to practice BDSM as they saw fit (a “Bozo no-no” in all communities and the last resort [patriotism, et al] argument for themselves, their claims and their honesty).
     5. They may bring in experts (people who are spokesmen for the sham or tangentially do know about the ‘life’ and the issues in it’s history (one person insisted I speak with someone who actually left in disgust when he realized he was being used for something other than he supposed). These ‘experts’ (as mentioned) may be duped themselves into a sense that they are straightening out an errant plebe, or, they may be touting the ‘company line’ in adherence to their  ‘primaries’ request.

Through this all, I was accused of demeaning the “life”, denigrating and distorting history, of exposing people’s real identities to the public (one declared I was exposing her and her associates backgrounds including that of their offspring and family’s names and addresses), of violating the law (stealing ID’s for fun and profit – they said they called the federal authorities, I am still awaiting their arrival).

These charlatans are without shame or recourse in their manners. They create a highly stylized demeanor and story, developed especially for the medium and the people listening. They do not bring in many of the experienced ‘leathers’ they bring in the fringe elements. People who are disassociated from the mainstream, through their personal inadequacies in socialization, or, through events that have led them to seek something (anything?) to believe in at the moment they are ‘brought into’ one of these ‘folds’. In seeking their identity they meet others who have identity to spare and freely develop more (despite the fact that it is an assumed one). They arbitrarily cut off ‘acolytes’ whose only crime is to question the veracity of the poser. These people attack the ‘friend’  who challenges the fallacies they are presented with, or who questions the motivations or statements and claims that are too wild to be swallowed.

These are the people who suffer the most. The ones who truly believed in someone. We cannot forget them in our requirement for the truth. Many of these people believe in the fakes no matter the retort or proof provided. No matter what is told these loyal folks of the lies being fed them by spoonful by ladle full, they refuse to recant their information. They stand by the person in question despite any outcry from the community or friends. When the perpetrator’s lies are exposed for what they are, these folks (whose only crime is believing in someone) may be destroyed in the process.

These modern ‘Pied Pipers’ are afraid of any ‘light’ that might expose them, of minds that challenge their presumptuous natures, and of anything that would destroy (however slightly) this ‘house of cards’ that they have carefully built, renovated and added their own fanciful plumbing to.

We are at a cross roads in the history of the general leather community. We have developed from a closeted existence, to ‘Old Leather’ (Old Guard), to ‘New Leather’ (Nouveau Leather), to the ‘electronic leather’ that has begotten a perverted population explosion of our minority larger than anything seen in years previous. Organizations such as the NCSF and many local and regional leather associations would not exist or be as vibrant without the mediums of the electronic age.

And yet, it has also sewn the seeds for a reversal in our determined future.

We are allowing people to demean us through their self-aggrandizing behavior. As a generality the community respects and honors a tradition of anonymity and privacy, and the web makes this all the more easily to maintain. But, we are not policing ourselves through a regimented requisite to question claims that many of us know to be false. Our gentility is the cause of our suffering. We are allowing frauds and cheats to propagate through the inaction of our silence and our requisite and inherent requirement to remain aloofly indifferent to other people’s words.

It is this indifference to the words, web sites, claims and credibility that has allowed these people to distort and demean the history that so many are trying to maintain and document, to live faithfully and that we take pride in being a part of.

We cannot challenge them without a solid knowledge base. And, the historical knowledge that is our communal heritage is being distorted through these flights of fancy to the point where we, who should know better, are being fooled as well.

In some instances, certain senior and respected members of the leather community are allowing the “possibility” that these false claims might be ‘real’ and are not questioning them or talking to others to draw a consensus against such pretenders. These doubts and inactions arise from the thought that such rumors have existed for so long (of fabled houses and the Old Guard) that there is a possibility. And, they conclude that it is about time they met someone representative of these ‘places’ A sad twist.

Without our revered leaders and senior community members speaking out, who will?